• “Do you really want kids?” (said as her 2 wonderful children run crazily around the house playing)
• “Oh I had a miscarriage too, it’s not the end of the world” (says the woman with two children who conceived naturally)
• “How old are you?” (followed by an assessment of whether or not you ‘still have time’)
• “A friend of a friend tried for 4 years and then just got pregnant on her own!” (btw- I know a bunch of infertile friends who told their friends that too)

• “I’m so sorry you’re going through this” (and then sit quietly, listen, then offer to make them a cup of herbal tea because their acupuncturist probably has them off caffeine)
• “How are you? Do you want to talk about it?” (give them the option. I know it makes you feel uncomfortable, but try it out)
• After a miscarriage, failed cycle, or just because you know that they’re going a monthly struggle, send flowers, a card or candy. Acknowledge that they just lost the baby they’d been hoping for, or that another month of disappointment went by.
• My husband’s Aunt came to me one day with a book on infertility,“I bought you this, and I bought one for myself too, so I can try to understand what you’re going through”.The book didn’t matter (albeit it was an interesting read) but the idea of her trying to understand what I was going through was everything I had ever wanted. It was the single most caring thing anyone had ever done for me.

Weekly Challenge:

My dear friends, this is just a theme lately: Gratitude. I recently did an Instagram story on gratitude. I’ve written on gratitude here and I was recently interviewed by the Five Minute Journal on my relationship with gratitude. I love this stuff—I call it “finding your G-Spot” for a reason. It’s THAT good. Riva’s challenge is to say out loud one thing you’re grateful for everyday. Throughout her experience with unexplained infertility, it helped her tremendously to gain perspective. Have a loved one? Do it with them over breakfast or before bed. Have kids? Maybe you can add this practice into your routine. Have friends? Give them a call and tell them what you’re grateful for everyday for a week! Next time someone asks how you’re doing say, “I’m so grateful that the sun is shining today.” Keep me posted on IG @sheajackie how you do with this challenge. I will share my gratitude with you. Maybe I’ll share in my Instagram stories everyday!